Funny Little Valentines
by flo-bizet
Summary: Formerly What would be.. How do you buy a gift for someone you love, when in your mind, they seem to dislike everything? You get rabid matchmakers, idiot shopping methods, and cupids out to shoot you, that's what! Primarily TxH, but there's also TxW and W
1. The Day has Arrived! Oh, Boy

A/N: Damn title took forever, and I'm not a fan of it. And I know it's early, but this is going to be a bit long and I want it done by Valentines Day. The rant isn't all of my thoughts, but I felt that this was a much better beginning than my first draft. Trust me, IT WAS BAD!

**What Would be the Perfect Gift?**

Prologue

Valentines Day. Its origin lies in the pagan celebration of the Feast of Lubercus, which was taken by priests of the Catholic Church and renamed St. Valentines Day in an attempt to "replace old heathen practices" (Origins n.p.). But how does this tie into all of the cards and over-priced candies that appear every year? Nothing! Valentines Day has been taken over by our greedy card companies! Yes, Hallmark and all of its buddies have taken this celebration of love and turned it into a dieter's nightmare, what with all of the delicious candy and needn't we forget **chocolate**! They have also warped society's mind into thinking that if you do not receive a gift on this day, you are unloved. You also get an ear full from your "steady" if you don't give them something. And in other cases, you have friends just dieing to play match-maker for you when all the guys in your school are the biggest idiots you have ever had the misfortune of seeing! Excuse me, I went off there.

I will say, however, that Valentines Day does have a sweet side. The image of lovers holding hands in a park or receiving roses is always a good one, and its message of true love is quite beautiful. It's also the perfect day for secret admirers to fess up, as we see in the following story, where we find a young man staring at an even younger boy…

Chapter 1 The Day has Arrived… Oh Boy.

Hisoka looked up at Tsuzuki who had been staring at him for the past five minutes. Figuring Tsuzuki would soon get bored and leave, he had ignored him. But when you have someone looking at you with a goofy grin on their face, it's pretty hard. Finally, Hisoka asked, "What?"

"Nothing," Tsuzuki answered. Hisoka's eyebrow twitched at the world's most annoying response, and that Tsuzuki was still staring at him. After an entire minute, Tsuzuki added, "Hisoka, do you know what day it is?"

Glancing at a nearby calendar, Hisoka said, "February fourteenth."

The two words made Tsuzuki perk up and smile even wider than he had been. "Yep! It's Valentine's Day! A day for lovers to exchange gifts! Sooooo, whatdya' get me?"

"Nothing." The cold answer felt so much like an invisible fist giving Tsuzuki an upper cut that the poor man fell backwards and was sprawled out on the floor muttering, "But!" over and over again.

That is, of course, until Hisoka cut him off with a quirked eyebrow and explanation for his actions. "I wasn't aware we were supposed to exchange gifts."

Peeking over his desk in "puppy mode", Tsuzuki whined, "But we're _partners_!"

"Yes. And you said not two minutes ago that this is a day for **lovers** to give each other gifts."

"Well, uh, about that…"

"What? Did you get me a present or something?"

If ever there was a more prolonged silence, this one came pretty close. "Uhhhh…. Well, no, but-!"

"Tsuzuki! There you are!" Watari exclaimed while grabbing Tsuzuki's shoulder. "Come on, we have to hurry if we want to get those free doughnuts!"

"But I thought we were…. Wait a minute, FREE DOUGHNUTS?"

Watari nodded. "Wakaba's waiting for us so we have to go NOW! Say buh-bye!"

"O-okay! Bye, Hisoka! I'll bring you back a plain doughnut!" And then they were gone.

Hisoka let out a sigh of relief for the silence. It still amazed him how fast a room could get once Tsuzuki was gone. He also wondered what Tsuzuki was about to say before Watari came to steal him, but he let it go and focused on his work.

A/N: Ehhhh, shoooort! But it's part of a prologue!

Right, so if I get positive reviews I'll continue, but I honestly don't mind criticism! In fact, it's **encouraged** so I can improve my writing. I think that it's an American trait to not be too proud of your work, but I don't know about this one. But if I do continue, I promise to do my best to get it done by Valentines Day! Can I do it? Well, that depends on you guys! ...But more so me… But please review and many thanks!

Oh, and any better ideas for a title would be much appreciated.


	2. The Official Beginning

A/N: Woot! I got a review! And because that reviewer asked me to continue, I did! Many thanks, happygreendragen! And I've had nights like that, where I just read fan fiction, but wow! I meant to update this Thursday, but Fanfic. wasn't excepting it. Now I'm behind in my updating schedule and I'll be typing like mad tomorrow! Well, enjoy chapter 2 and please review 'cuase I won't know whether or not you like it if you don't! Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Chapter 2 The Official Beginning

Silence was a blessing. Tatsumi knew this fact all too well. But another fact he knew was that there are some days that **are** never and **should** never be quiet ones. Such as Valentines Day. In the past, the day was a day for the energetic, hyper-fun people to beg Watari for love potions (in other words, the strongest alcohol he could find) and turn the entire building into a place that looked as though St. Valentine had thrown up all over it. The office would be chock-full of flowers, hearts, boxes of candy, candles, and the occasional cupid hanging from the ceiling and pointing his arrow at Tatsumi's office. A clear sign that Watari had hung it. The girls (which included Tsuzuki and Watari) would be running around trying to get a certain someone to eat their "special" chocolate or just smell the roses they had gotten "special". Now, normally Tsuzuki would be with Saya and Yuma, merely helping with the so-called fun. But since Hisoka had arrived, he had transformed into a hunter and poor Hisoka was the hunted. This was another reason why the silence was an eerie one.

Cracking under the peace, Tatsumi rushed out of his office only to find no one except Hisoka, working diligently as always. Quickly composing himself, Tatsumi inquired, "Where are they?"

"Who do you mean?" Hisoka asked.

"Tsuzuki, Watari, Wakaba, and Terazuma."

"Oh. Well, I don't know where Terazuma is, but Watari took Tsuzuki to meet Wakaba somewhere. Something about free doughnuts."

Tatsumi chuckled while pushing up his glasses. "Kurosaki, there is nothing in this world that is free."

"Then I don't know where they are."

"I see…" Tatsumi was **pissed**.

Just then, an out of breath Terazuma burst through the door, making sure to lock it tight. He seemed to have pretty good reason to do so. There were little hearts stamped onto his face, a flower crown on his head, and a paper heart chain placed around him like a sash. Needless to say, Terazuma was also **pissed**.

Turning to Tatsumi, he breathed, "I'm taking a sick day."

"No, you're not," Tatsumi calmly said, while giving him a glare that would freeze hell over.

Terazuma flinched, but stood his ground. "Look, Saya and Yuma came two inches away from touching me when they ambushed me! I am not staying around to see if they can come any closer! Besides, I'm sure you would hate to have to pay for all of the repairs that might be needed if I stayed, right?"

"Wrong. I have a separate savings account for holiday repairs that are sure to happen. Also, I highly doubt that you can walk five feet out that door and not have another run in with those two."

"I'll jump out the window!"

While Tatsumi tried his best to restrain Terazuma from leaving and not doing any work, Hisoka, who had been watching with mild amusement, found this to be an opportunity to ask a crucial question. "Exactly what do Saya and Yuma do on Valentines Day?"

"TERAZUMA, I WILL FIRE YOU IF YOU DO NOT STOP THIS!" Tatsumi shouted. Terazuma quickly stopped his struggling against the secretary and sulked to his desk while muttering obscenities. After, once again, composing himself, Tatsumi said, "Kurosaki, do you recall the Christmas party?" Hisoka nodded remembering that that was when he decided that whoever thought that mistletoe and eggnog was a good combination should be dragged out into the street and shot.

"Take that," Terazuma instructed, "and multiply it by ten." Hisoka did, and was horrified.

"What are you doing with that desk?" Tatsumi suddenly asked.

"Barricading it against the door."

"Why? And can't you use your own desk instead of Tsuzuki's?"

"Does he ever use it? No! And can't you hear them?" Tatsumi and Hisoka shook their heads.

Sighing, Terazuma made his way to the door, and, unlocking it, opened it. "HI!" two very hyper girls sang out. Saya and Yuma. But before they could say or do anything else, Terazuma slammed it and relocked it. No other explanation was needed for his actions.

_Actually, we could prosper quite a bit from this_, Tatsumi mused. _We've never gotten much of anything done on the past Valentine Days, and with Kurosaki here, we should do quite well this year._ "Kurosaki," Tatsumi said. "I believe that it would be best if you do not leave the office for the remainder of the work day... For your own safety."

"Oh, that's right," Terazuma thought out loud. "This is the kid's first Valentines Day here. I guess we should give him some safety precautions."

"You're right. This goes without saying, but stay away from Saya and Yuma."

"If you see someone who looks like they're up to something, they probably are."

"Don't eat anything that somebody gives you. Especially if they call it 'special'."

"Don't smell any flowers."

"Be careful of the cupids."

Hisoka was only half listening. Tsuzuki had already given him the same tips, but he was still confused by the "be careful of the cupids" one. Thinking of Tsuzuki made Hisoka wonder where exactly he had gone. It was highly doubtful that Tsuzuki was taking all of the two hours that they had been gone to get some supposed free doughnuts. So if he wasn't there, then where else would he go?

"Hey," Terazuma suddenly said. "Where's Kannuki?"

A/N: Yay! It's a bit longer! I hope to make each chapter a bit longer each time. Did I get Wakaba's first name right? Yeah, so review if you want me to continue!


	3. Confusion and Panic

A/N: I can't believe I got four reviews in one day! Many thanks! Enjoy chapter three!

Chapter 3 Confusion and Panic

"What would Tatsumi want?" Watari asked his shopping companions.

"A tie?" Wakaba offered, being just as baffled as to what the secretary would want.

"No," Watari sighed. "That's too much of a Father's Day gift… he's not my 'daddy' yet!" The two burst into giggles at the comment, but soon noticed that one giggle was missing. "Tsuzuki?"

"Huh?" Tsuzuki whined.

"What's wrong? Don't tell me you're still upset about the whole free doughnuts thing. I already told you that I couldn't say we were going out shopping in front of the kid!"

"I know, but…. but… I don't know what to get Hisoka!" This, of course, was followed by Tsuzuki bawling his eyes out and going into whiney puppy mode, which is always adorable!

"Don't worry, Tsuzuki!" Watari shouted over the crocodile tears. "I don't know what to get Tatsumi either! That's why Wakaba's here!"

"Yep!" Wakaba said. "I'll make sure you two get the perfect gift for your valentines!"

"But how?" Tsuzuki asked, his tears mysteriously gone. "We've gone to five stores and haven't found a single thing!"

"Well, that's partly due to us doing this on Valentines Day. It's not the best day to shop for your gift and I would have told Watari this had he mentioned his plan a couple days earlier."

"What!" Watari exclaimed while faking hurt feelings. "I thought that everybody else would have already done their shopping so the stores wouldn't be so crowded!"

It was quite the opposite. Every single store the trio had been to that day was jammed pack with late shoppers. Even the Hallmark, which normally had barely any people, was now busting at the seams with people scrambling to get some sort of Valentines Day present for their special someone.

"Maybe we should split up to see if one of us can find a good store that is **not** swarming with people?" Watari asked.

"Are you insane!" Wakaba cried, her mind's shopping section taking over. "In a situation such as this, we need to stick to the buddy system and stay together… Where's Tsuzuki?"

"Huh? Wasn't he just here?"

The two were quick to start searching, but considering how small the store was, after about the third time around (in less than five minutes) they were starting to worry.

"Where could he have gone?" Watari pondered. "There isn't a candy store nearby, is there Wakaba?"

"I don't think there is," Wakaba answered. "But the Publix down the road has a bakery!"

"You're right! I bet that's where he went! Come on!"

In a situation like that, one doesn't seem to listen to the obvious. Not ten seconds after Watari and Wakaba left for the Publix, Tsuzuki walked out of the bathroom muttering about it not being big enough.

After looking around for his shopping chums, Tsuzuki came to the conclusion that he had been ditched. This was followed by about two minutes of panic, confusion, and cute little puppy antics, before Tsuzuki thought, _Who cares! I can find Hisoka a present by myself!_

So without wasting any time, Tsuzuki proudly proceeded with his mission for the perfect gift for his "little 'Soka-chan" by himself. He wanted to give him something special, something that would show Hisoka how much he cared. The only problem was that Hisoka seemed very picky to Tsuzuki and the fact that partially every store was half empty wasn't helping the situation.

While sniffing a candle made to smell like sugar cookies, Tsuzuki thought, _Maybe a scented candle? But what if he's allergic? I wouldn't be surprised, he's so sensitive:gasp: And what if he thinks that I have something 'planned' for the night! Scented candles are sometimes used to set the mood, aren't they? That's probably why there are so few left. I highly doubt he's going to put out on the first date. AH! And if I give him this and he thinks what I just thought, we'll never have a first date because he'll think I'm a **PERVERT**! I can't give him this! It'll ruin our relationship! _Quickly putting the candle back as if it were poison, Tsuzuki made his way to look at cards.

_How about a card?_ was Tsuzuki's next thought. _Well, maybe not a funny card. I don't think he's the type to appreciate a little doggy telling a joke. That and he wouldn't take it seriously. Wait, some cards have love poems in them! What's this one say…? 'The lilac's scent over a cotton mist show my undying affection for thee'………… What? Who wrote that? Emily Dickinson. Wow, she sounds familiar. But her poetry isn't that good. Must be one of Hallmark's workers. Maybe **I** can write a poem! Let's see, roses are red, violets are blue… on second thought, forget the card._

At this point, Tsuzuki wished Hisoka was normal and like sweets. There was a small display of fancy chocolates at the check-out counter that would be perfect if he did. Tsuzuki had always thought that it would be quite romantic to be able to feed each other chocolates, even though he was fully aware that in order for that fantasy to come true, Hisoka would have to be on something pretty strong or at least incredibly drunk. The same would be needed for his other fantasies that consisted of Hisoka in a school girl uniform, French cat-maid costume, you get the idea. Tsuzuki quickly forced the images out of his mind to avoid a public boner.

He soon came to the display of stuffed animals. That is, the display of the three stuffed animals left. _They're adorable! _he thought. _Just like Hisoka! How cute would it be to see him cuddling with one of the teddy bears?... What the hell am I thinking? He'd kill me! That's a bad, bad, BAD idea:sigh: There's really nothing wrong with liking stuffed animals, it doesn't mean you're a little kid. I mean, who doesn't like something soft and fuzzy to hug? But I guess I can see Hisoka not wanting to be made fun of. Oh well._

"Why does this have to be so hard!" Tsuzuki whined, while attracting a few stares, practically the stare of a certain doctor.

A/N: Does Meifu have a Hallmark or Publix? I DON'T KNOW! But let's just say it does!

The part with Tsuzuki shopping alone was originally supposed to be in a different chapter but this one was so short that I figured I should put it in. Did it seem to jump? Hope not.

Oh, and I did have a mistake in the last chapter. I'm pretty sure I spelled " 'cause" wrong in my Author's Note.

Review if you enjoyed! Yay for criticism!


	4. Incorrect Assumptions and Muraki!

A/N: Sorry, but I forgot to make sure whether or not Publix was a nation wide store. Heh, heh! Turns out it's not! But it's a grocery store, I guess mainly in the south. Well, 'ya learn somethin' new every day! Enjoy the next chapter!

Chapter 4 Incorrect Assumptions and Muraki! Saya and Yuma laughed hysterically as they walked arm-in-arm down the hallway. They were amazed at how well their plan had worked. Both of them were completely aware that on Valentines Day the men (minus Tsuzuki and Watari) tried to avoid them and since their presence was now established, it ensured that three certain people would remain in their office for at least a few hours. That gave plenty of time for the others to get gifts, come back, and get ready. The two were just surprised that all it took was a simple ambush and greeting.

"I had no idea Terazuma was so scared of us!" Saya laughed.

"Yeah!" Yuma agreed. Suddenly, something of dire importance struck her. "Oh no! Saya! With Hisoka in his office, we won't be able to dress him up in his new outfit for Tsuzuki!"

Saya gasped, "You're right! But maybe we can think of a way to get Hisoka out without Tatsumi or Terazuma knowing?"

"Like somehow teleporting him to us?"

"Wait a minute! Yuma, who do we know who can draw a picture of someone and with that drawing bring said person to where the drawer is?"

"Oh! Watari!"

"Right! Now we just gotta go find him!"

"Well then, let's go! They're probably at a Hallmark or something."

Meanwhile, at Publix:

"He's not here," Watari and Wakaba sighed.

There was a long pause between the two as they pondered over the other places Tsuzuki could have gone.

"Eckerd's?" Wakaba offered. "They have 20 off all their candy."

"We went there three stores before Hallmark," Watari pointed out. "And didn't he say he was going to save his money for tomorrow?"

"Oh yeah. He said that there's always sales going up to 90 off on Valentines candy after Valentines Day. Wait, that means that he probably isn't at candy stores or bakeries since the big sales are tomorrow and Hisoka doesn't like sweets!"

Standing up, Watari exclaimed, "By George, you're right, Wakaba! Very good deducting skills, by the way."

"Thanks! Some of it is from Hajime-chan!"

"There's one thing he's good for. But now we need to figure out where Tsuzuki would have gone besides any place that specializes in sweets. Any ideas?"

Wakaba took a moment to think before saying, "A book store?"

"Tsuzuki at a book store? Hm, never thought that sentence would come out of my mouth."

"Uh-huh! See, my thinking is that Tsuzuki is thinking about Hisoka and what to get him since that's why we came out here. So he's thinking how Hisoka thinks and now we have to think how Hisoka thinks because that's how Tsuzuki is thinking."

"Wakaba, you need to stop or else my job will be on the line because you're a genius!"

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome! Now, to the library!"

Meanwhile, still at Hallmark:

"I am so glad to have found you, Tsuzuki," an incredibly familiar and creepy voice purred from behind Tsuzuki.

_Aw, shit! Not now!_ Tsuzuki thought. Looking over his shoulder, he confirmed his thoughts. Muraki was standing right behind him with his trade-mark smirk on. Mentally sighing, Tsuzuki turned around to get the inevitable over with. "Muraki," was all he said (it's really all you have to say).

"How appropriate that I should run into you on the day of lovers, Tsuzuki."

"Uh, yeah, can we skip this?"

"You want to go straight to bed?"

"**NO**! I'm just in a hurry so if you could be so kind as to let me be-?"

"Tsuzuki you make me laugh so much!" Muraki followed this statement by laughing, and due to it being naturally creepy (it's in his DNA), he attracted many, many stares.

"Um, sir?" a Hallmark employee squeaked. "Could you please keep your voice down? You're disturbing our customers."

"Very well. Come, Tsuzuki. Let us go get some fresh air. Tsuzuki followed, but only because he was planning on making a mad dash for the nearest sanctuary once outside.

However, before our sexy hero could make any type of movement in a direction opposite of the psychopath, Muraki shoved some flowers in his face. Tsuzuki was then thrown into de-ja-vu and a curiosity of where they came from.

Inconspicuously throwing them in a nearby trash can, Tsuzuki tried again. "Uh, I _really_ don't have time for this."

"Why?" Muraki asked. He decided it would be fun to mess with him since he's so cute when he's flustered.

"I'm in a hurry."

"For?"

"For shopping."

"Shopping for what?"

"Just stuff! Now stop that!"

"Stop what?"

"That!"

"What? You mean this?"

"Yes, that!"

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"Because I said so!"

"Well who are you?"

"Asato Tsuzuki!"

"What's your point?"

"Huh?" Tsuzuki was starting to get a bit dizzy.

"Alright, that's enough. I'm going to guess that you're getting a late Valentine's Day present for the boy, right?"

"………….. Maybe."

"You're a horrible liar, Tsuzuki, but that's one of the things I find most endearing about you." Taking off his glasses, he began to clean them with his eyes closed. Quite an amazing feat, no? Anyway, the man continued, "I don't see why you bother with him, he's just a child. You need someone who can actually please you."

Meanwhile, in Tsuzuki's head: _Why does he bother me all the freakin' time? Time? What time is it?... 1:30! Shit! I gotta go! Hey, his eyes are closed. How can he clean his glasses like that? Hang on; I can go without him noticing!_

Because of Muraki being so overly confident that Tsuzuki would stay and listen to him go on forever, he didn't realize his "love" was high tailing it to a non-Muraki place. Where was this place? Well, we don't know since Tsuzuki wants to keep it a secret so Muraki can never find him there and he and Hisoka can make-out without all of the fan girls taking pictures. So sadly, we do not know.

A/N: Come on! You gotta have at least one Muraki appearance!

Oh, there were so many typos in my last chapter! I am so sorry! I'm supposed to be good at noticing this stuff!

And does Eckerd's have places all over the country? I don't know.

You know the drill, people!


	5. Help me think of a good title!

Chapter 5

Hisoka was annoyed. Who wouldn't be? He was stuck in his office without a book to read! Tatsumi wouldn't let anybody leave (even though Hisoka had finished his work long ago) just to make sure "certain people" who didn't word on this day were kept out.

_I bet Tatsumi is doing this so I'll do Tsuzuki's work,_ Hisoka thought as he looked out the window at nothing in particular. _I'm starting to agree with Tsuzuki on him being a tyrant._

Thinking of Tsuzuki brought up a familiar question: Where was the idiot? Watari, Wakaba, and he hadn't been back for the past four hours. Hisoka would have never admitted this next part, but he was starting to miss Tsuzuki. It was increasingly dull without the guy running around trying to avoid his paper work and forcing some nasty sweet crap into his mouth.

Hisoka shuddered at the thought of digesting as much sugar in one month as his partner did in one day. _How on earth can his body stand it?_ Hisoka pondered. _Surely he eventually gets sick of the stuff. There is no way a human can consume all of – wait; Tsuzuki's not a regular human. And I take it he burns all of it off on the missions. He's in pretty good shape. At least on the outside. Most likely he's got a high metabolism, as well. But still, if he's been eating like that for the 80-odd years he's been working here, there has to have been some medical problems, or at least a cavity! Maybe the library has a book-_

"I wanna talk about me-eeee!"

Hisoka was snatched from his thoughts by some crap on the radio. "What the hell is that?" he asked.

Terazuma had been the one to turn it on, so he answered, "I don't know. It's what the radio was turned to and I can't change it. It's stuck or something."

"Then turn it off," Hisoka said as calm as possible.

"I need something to listen to! This silence is deafening!"

"Whatever." Hisoka wasn't in the mood to argue with Terazuma over something as little as music. But the song was country and its lyrics were selfish sounding. It was some guy singing about his girlfriend and the chorus was him saying how he wanted to talk about himself. Hisoka found it quite egotistic. He thought that if he were on a date, he wouldn't want the guy to talk about himself the whole time. _Did I just think GUY?_ Hisoka immediately shook the idea from his head. But what was odd was that his mind at once went to Tsuzuki and wondering where the hell he was because if he were here, he wouldn't let Terazuma force him to listen to country.

He was about to get part of his question of Tsuzuki's location as Watari and Wakaba made their way to the office. They had given up after they had looked in all of the non-Tsuzuki-but-pro-Hisoka places they could think of, so they decided to go back to the ministry to see if he had gone into Hisoka with-drawl and went to where his prey, er, love was.

Once there, it didn't take long for them to discover all of the precautions their coworkers had taken. "What the hell?" Watari said.

"What's the problem?" Wakaba asked from behind him.

"I just unlocked the door and yet it won't open. It's like there's something in front of it. Hey!" Watari began to beat against the door in hopes of getting someone's attention.

"What?" an annoyed Terazuma answered.

"Hajime-chan!" Wakaba said. "It's Watari and me! We can't get in!"

"That's because there's a desk in front of the door! Hang on."

The two, not at all confused by the explanation, waited patiently as they heard a loud scraping sound. However, they also heard Tatsumi say, "What are you doing?"

"Letting Kannuki in."

"No you're not, she's not allowed in here today. And I assume that Watari and Tsuzuki are with her?"

"Well yes," Watari said, "and no. Isn't Tsuzuki in there with you?"

"No, what made you think he would be? Kurosaki said he left with you so shouldn't he be with you now?"

"We lost him at Hallmark and since we couldn't find him anywhere else, we figured he had started to miss Hisoka and came back here."

"Well, he didn't… Why were you three at Hallmark? Aren't aware of how expensive their items are? Their cards alone can be up to ten dollars!"

"Uh-huh. You know, this conversation would be a lot easier if you would just let us in."

"No. Not even Wakaba can be trusted today."

"Hey!" Terazuma shouted. "Don't put her on those idiots level!"

"I'm not. I'm just saying that on holidays, she is just as likely to plot something like Saya and Yuma."

"Oh! So now you're putting her on the same level as crazy people!"

"Hajime-chan, calm down!" Wakaba said.

"I need a smoke!"

"Make sure to open a window!" Tatsumi said. As for you two, Tsuzuki is not here so you can go home. I will send your work to your houses to do tonight. Now, good day."

"Tatsumi? Tatsumi!" Watari yelled, once again, banging on the door. "Tatsumi, let us in! Wait a minute, Hisoka! You're in there, right? Open the door! And what the hell is playing? Is that country? Good gods, man, what are they doing to you? Hisoka? Hisoka!"

Hisoka was in the office, but he was trying to block out Watari in order to focus on Tsuzuki's work. He had gotten fed up with not having anything to do so he had decided to give Tsuzuki a break and do some of the slacker's work. Not all, mind you. Just some.

"There you are!" Saya exclaimed from behind the two, causing them to jump. Turning around, she shouted down the hall, "Yuma! I found them! But they're Tsuzuki-less!"

"Really?" Yuma shouted with her head poking around a corner. "Where is he?"

"I don't know, let me ask! Where's Tsuzuki?"

"We lost him at Hallmark," Wakaba explained.

"Oh. They lost him at Hallmark!"

"Hallmark!" Yuma repeated. "But we were just at Hallmark! And Eckerd's! Speaking of which, Watari! Wakaba! Come look at what we got!"

Making their way around the corner (with Saya pulling them), Watari and Wakaba were met with the holy grail of Valentine's Day decorations.

A/N: I hope that everybody liked it and that there weren't any mistakes. Now for a comment from my friend who claims to like both me and Yami no Matstuei but has yet to read my story!

Keir: I 3 Kalili a lot!

Kalili: TT yeah…. You know what to do!

Keir::fully intends to read said story while pretending to write her Chemistry paper:


	6. Don't Blow Stuff Up, People

A/N: I totally forgot to say this in the last chapter, but I wrote that during economics and the teacher made us listen to country and that song was on. Now, I don't hate country music, it's just not my first choice when it comes to genres.

Disclaimer: Is this really necessary? I don't know, but just in case, I do not own any of Yami no Matsuei. :insert cute comment:

Chapter 6

"Just give up, Asato," Tsuzuki told himself. "You might as well go tell Hisoka that you don't have a present for him. You suck."

Tsuzuki was walking down the hallway as slow as possible, hunched over and dragging his feet. There was nothing that could cheer him up. Not hearts or flowers. Not banners or cupids. Not even the chocolates he kept being offered on his own personal trail of tears.

Finally coming to his office, he hit his head on the door and turned the knob only to find it locked. "Odd," he said. Taking out his key, he unlocked it but was still unable to get in. "What the hell?" Tsuzuki was starting to get a bit panicked. He began to knock on the door and said, "Hisoka? Hisoka, are you in there?"

Getting annoyed with people banging on the door, Hisoka yelled, "What is it?"

Overjoyed to hear his partner's voice, Tsuzuki cheered, "Hisoka! You're alive!" –Hisoka raised an eyebrow at that statement. – "I can't get in! Is there some kind of force field keeping me out?"

"Yeah, a desk."

"….A desk? Why would somebody put a desk in front of the door?"

"To keep trouble-makers like you out."

"But who would do that!"

"Terazuma." Right after he said that, Hisoka knew he shouldn't have. He immediately began to feel some of Tsuzuki's anger. Hisoka quickly glanced at Terazuma, who had been way into his cigarette to notice Tsuzuki's presence. All of this made Hisoka a tad bit nervous on the inside. He wondered what exactly was going on in Tsuzuki's mind.

While Hisoka was preparing himself for the unknown, inside Tsuzuki's head, there was an overflow of misconceptions. Particularly that Terazuma had barricaded the door so he could have Hisoka all to himself. Mind you, this didn't make any sense at all because of the fact that Terazuma couldn't even touch Hisoka, but when you're in a panic, your brain doesn't listen to reason. All Tsuzuki was paying attention to was that Terazuma was in there alone with his precious, little 'Soka-chan, and he couldn't get in. (It was at this point in time that Hisoka thought it would be best for him to take protection under his desk.) So Tsuzuki did what any other Guardian of Death with incredible power would do: he used that incredible power to blast the door away.

Hisoka's instincts were right. Almost immediately after he was under the desk, there was a white flash followed by that explosion sound. Hisoka peeked from under the desk and saw a ton of office supplies flying toward the wall and out the window. He then felt his desk start to slightly move an inch, until it was forcefully shoved against the wall, trapping Hisoka in the little part where you sit. This was probably the only time he was thankful to be stuck in his small, teenage body.

A little surprised by how much damage he had caused, Tsuzuki's attention was soon pulled to where Hisoka was struggling to push the desk away and crawl out. So far, he had succeeded in getting his head and right arm out.

"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki exclaimed. He quickly pulled the rest of the boy out and held him tightly while rubbing his cheek in the soft hair. Tsuzuki loved the feel of Hisoka's hair. It was like a bed of curls he could sleep in. And he would have since Hisoka was in a daze, but he was interrupted by a book hitting him in the back of his head.

"Dumbass!" Terazuma shouted. "Why the hell did you blow up the office?"

Giving him as mean looking a glare as possible and hugging Hisoka even tighter, Tsuzuki said, "I wouldn't of had to if you hadn't put a fucking desk in front of the door to keep Hisoka to yourself!"

"What? Why the hell would I want to be alone with the kid?"

"You just were!"

"Would you shut up?" Hisoka yelled as he pushed Tsuzuki away. "You're giving me a headache."

"I'm sorry, Hisoka! I was just trying to save you!"

"Save me from what, idiot?"

"From **that**!" Tsuzuki pointed an accusing finger in Terazuma's direction.

"I was barely even talking to him!" Terazuma said.

"I bet you were plotting to take him away, weren't you?" Tsuzuki yelled, reason being completely lost.

By now, Hisoka was glad Tsuzuki was okay, but already was getting a major headache. So he decided it was best to leave without them noticing, which, thank the gods, they didn't.

"You are the biggest dumbass ever created!" Terazuma shouted. "How the hell do you manage to keep your job?"

"Easy. I perform a hell of a lot better than you do!"

"That's it! It's ass kickin' time!"

"Bring it on, pussy!"

"Hold it!" an extremely pissed off Tatsumi commanded, stopping the two from destroying the place even more. Two blue eyes slowly scanned across the room, taking everything in. "Tsuzuki," Tatsumi finally said through gritted teeth. "I am going to ask you a question. And before you answer, I want you to think – Terazuma, keep your mouth shut! Tsuzuki, I want you to really think before you say _anything_. Okay? Now then, why did you blow up the office?"

Tsuzuki thought, but there really wasn't too much to think about. "Um… to get in?"

"Alright. But why did you want to get in so badly?"

"Becaaauuuse, Hisoka was in here?"

"Then why didn't you ask him to move the desk and let you in?"

"…………….. I don't know."

"That excuse is not good enough and you know it, Tsuzuki! It is now your job to clean all of this up!"

"What? But Tatsumi, I-!"

"If you don't like that, I could always dock your pay."

"Um, that's okay, I'll clean. Hisoka, will you help… Hisoka? AH! Hisoka's gone! I gotta go find him!"

"Later! Right now you need to go find a broom! Now go!"

"But Hisoka-!"

"Is probably in the library. And the sooner you get started, the sooner you can go find him."

"Right!" Tsuzuki then ran off to get some cleaning supplies while Terazuma smirked at the display of Tsuzuki's current state of humbleness.

A/N: Bad ending. Sorry if there are any mistakes. I actually typed the seventh chapter before this and then this chapter and it's been two straight hours of typing and it's late and there are too many "and"'s in this sentence and now I'm really tired. So, sorry. Please review!


	7. Cupid Explanation!

A/N: To all of you who have been wondering what the hell is going to happen with the cupids, here it is! Enjoy!

Chapter 7

Hisoka is quite the Mr. Predictable when it comes to where he goes for quiet time. Then again, a library is the obvious choice for silence. He was extremely grateful for his sanctuary and that today was Valentine's Day. The reason being it had everybody busy with trying to get their special someone, which meant he got to be alone without anybody bothering him. Well, except Tsuzuki, who, for some unknown reason, thought that Hisoka was in some kind of peril. However, he was still keeping his guard up while he read. Why? Because in his entire trek to the library, he hadn't once ran into Saya or Yuma. He distinctly remembered seeing Yuma with a shopping bag (which most likely held some sort of dress) when Terezuma opened the door to reveal their presence, and unless there was some new guy who looked even more like a chick than he did, he assumed it was for him.

This was a subject that Hisoka had yet to figure out the answer to. He had long come to terms with the fact that he had feminine features, but didn't understand how that caused some girls to go insane and dress him up as a schoolgirl or something. It was both puzzling and disturbing, so he decided to come back to it later and instead half-focus on his book, Plato's _Republic_.

Surprisingly, Hisoka had never really read too much of ancient Greece's philosophers, but it was increasingly difficult to put it down, especially since the book said that Plato seemed to be the world's first feminist and fascist. He was hoping that since he had finished all his work for the day, he could spend the rest of it in the library, enjoying discovering the workings of Plato's mind.

Obviously, the gods did not want him to. No more than two minutes later, Watari burst in, yelling, "Sanctuary!"

Sighing as he closed his book, Hisoka merely stared at Watari, giving him a what-the-hell-is-the-problem? look.

Seeing him and sobbing in relief, Watari threw himself on the ground and cried, "Hisoka! It's horrible!"

"What's horrible?" Hisoka calmly said, as he mentally prepared himself for the explanation.

"Saya and Yuma have snapped!"

_That's a new one_, Hisoka thought. "Define 'snapped' because I don't think that they were all there to begin with."

"Well, you see, we were putting up these amazing decorations and oh! you should see them! Those two have the best taste when it comes to decorating! They had these heart chains that hung down and spun when there was a breeze and-!" –Hisoka was currently glaring at him to get on with it. – "Er, right, anyway we were putting up the decorations they had just bought…"

**Flashback **

"Yuma, Saya, these are just gorgeous!" Wakaba said as the four were hanging up hearts.

"Thanks!" Saya and Yuma said.

"What do you think Tatsumi will say?" Watari asked with a big grin plastered on his face.

"Probably something about not spending too much on worthless things," Yuma said.

"I hope he likes them, though. You know, get him thinking about romance!"

"Me too," Wakaba sighed. "Except with Hajime-chan!"

"Don't worry," Saya said. "Tatsumi and Terazuma obviously have a thing for you two….. Hey, Yuma?"

"Hm?" Yuma said as she hung a cupid, specially made by Watari for certain reasons.

"Have we ever gotten a card or rose or anything for Valentine's Day?"

Yuma stopped where she was as she slowly answered, "No."

There was an awkward silence as the word sank into the girls' heads, mocking them with every echo. It was true. In all the years they had spread Valentine's Day joy, none had been returned. No secret admirers, no friendly roses or chocolates, not even a crappy card with a doggy making a stupid joke about how much it cares about you.

Watari was the first to say something. "Um… You two okay?" Although, he probably shouldn't have said anything at all.

"NO WE ARE NOT OKAY!" the girls shouted.

Suddenly, a thunderstorm appeared out of nowhere, blowing tissue paper and hearts all over the place. Wind blew throughout the hallways as the storm raged with incredible force around poor Watari and Wakaba. Not sure of where to go, they hung onto each other to keep from blowing away.

"What's wrong?" Wakaba asked over the whistling winds.

"What's wrong?" Yuma yelled. "WHAT'S WRONG! For years, we have worked our asses off trying to get you people together with your little crushes! And yet, have we ever gotten a valentine? NO!"

"We could have at least gotten some stupid card from a friend!" Saya shouted. "But no! None of you could take the time to remember the ones who every year try to help you all get laid! Well, as of now, we're sick of it! Why don't **we** have secret admirers?"

"We're hot enough, aren't we!"

"Yes!" Watari said. "Very hot!"

"Then where are **our** roses and chocolates? Where are **our** scented candles and love poems? We shall take this no longer! Watari! Give me the control."

"Yuma, let's think about this-!"

"NO! Give it to us now!"

The wind picked up a significant bit. So much so, that it was getting harder and harder to hang onto Wakaba. Watari did what had to be done. "Wakaba," he said over the noise. "You have to go."

"No, Watari!" Wakaba protested. "I can't leave you alone! I can help calm them down!"

"I'm sorry, but it's for your own safety. There's an open widow in which the wind is blowing out of. If my calculations are correct, when I let you go, you'll go out that window and be safe outside."

"But-!"

"No buts." Quickly, Watari let the girl go. "Go, Wakaba! Go and bake for your Hajime-chan!"

Just as Watari had said, she flew out the window. "Wataaaaariiiiii!"

Turning to Saya and Yuma, he said, "Now where were we?"

"Just give us the freakin' remote!" Yuma snapped.

"Alright," Watari sighed, taking out a cordless PS2 controller. "But you do realize what dangers could-"

Cutting the man off by snatching it from his hands, Saya smiled and said, "Thank you!"

"Kick ass!" Yuma cheered.

The two then made their way down the hallway after stopping the catastrophic storm they had created, leaving the floor wet and covered with soggy tissue paper and hearts.

**End Flashback**

After a long pause and a double blink, Hisoka finally said, "Ooookaaay."

"There's no telling what they could do!" Watari sobbed.

"Well, what exactly does the controller control?"

"The cupids around the building."

"….What?"

"Well, you see, a few years back, I made the cupids in order to win Tatsumi over for at least a night. You can program each one to track down a certain person and when they find them, they'll shoot them with their arrow. And the arrow has a special love potion in them that will make you fall in love with the person who programmed the cupid. Genius, I know!"

"What's so bad about Saya and Yuma making a person love them for one night?"

"It could be anybody! What if they try to get Tatsumi? _My_ Tatsumi!"

"Well, why do you have the cupids if you're so worried about this?"

"I thought I might need them one day if I was especially horny."

"Ew. So what do you plan to do?"

"Not me, you."

"Excuse me?"

"Saya and Yuma have a soft spot for you, kid! I'm sure that if you just let them dress you up, then-!"

"I'm going to stop you right there. There is no way in hell I am going to dress in drag, okay? Besides, there's only two hours left in the work day. I'm sure they'll be over it by tomorrow!"

"There's no telling what they could do in two hours!"

"I have yet to see the danger in all of this."

"They could shoot Tsuzuki."

Hisoka's eyebrow twitched a bit at the statement. "Alright, I'll help. But it's not because of what you're thinking! It's just that…. I don't want Tsuzuki to do something that he might regret afterward. And I'm not letting them dress me up!"

"No problem!" Watari couldn't help but smile at Hisoka's reddened cheeks.

A/N: Whee! It's longer! Will I be able to finish before Valentine's Day? God, I hope so. Cross your fingers after you review!


	8. Negotiations

A/N: And so begins my night of non-stop typing until I am done!

Chapter 8

"Tsuzuki?" Watari said. "What are you doing?"

"Cleaning the floor with my tears," Tsuzuki said. It really was a pathetic sight. The poor guy was on his hands and knees scrubbing away the stains that the falling debris had made and had an apron and a handkerchief on, all the while crying his famous crocodile-tears. This scene reminded Watari of Cinderella. Tsuzuki was, naturally, Cinderella, Terazuma was one of the evil step-siblings since he had obviously enjoyed Tsuzuki's pain while he was there, and Tatsumi was the wicked step-mother, keeping him away from his prince and/or princess, Hisoka.

"You poor thing," Watari said, while trying to hold in his chuckles. He was doing a horrible job.

"It's not funny!" Tsuzuki whined. " I have had the worst day ever! Hisoka didn't get anything for me for Valentine's Day and didn't even seem to care and you made me go shopping on the worst day to go for a good gift and I didn't even find anything and you guys ditched me and then I ran into Muraki and he hit on me again and when I got back here I couldn't get in and when I did I only got to hold Hisoka for five seconds and Terazuma was being a jackass and Tatsumi got mad at me just because I blew up the office and said that if I don't finish I won't be able to see Hisoka and if I don't see Hisoka _today_ then I won't be able to tell him how I feel!"

"Is Muraki still wearing all white?"

"Is that all you have to say!"

"Well, it's just one of the things that bugs me about him! You know, it's been months since Labor Day and he should know that you don't wear white after Labor Day until Easter."

"You don't care about me at all, do you!"

"No, I care about you Tsuzuki! Now, why do you need to tell Hisoka today?"

"Because it's Valentine's Day! Today is the day that makes the most sense to tell someone you love them! Duh, Watari!"

"Oh, of course. Well, why don't you just leave?"

"Huh?"

"The only person making you stay here is Tatsumi. Terazuma seems to have left already, so you could just sneak out, no problem."

"But-!"

"Don't worry, I'll distract him!"

"Distract who?" a voice said from behind them.

"Tatsumi!" Watari clapped his hands and immediately twirled around to face the secretary. "How wonderful to not only hear your voice but to also see your face!"

"What were you two talking about?"

"What? You don't want to have a nice chit-chat with your best 'friend'? You're so cruel, Tatsumi!"

"Why did you just air-quote 'friend'?"

"Oh, ha ha ha! Tatsumi, I have no idea what you're talking about, I didn't air-quote anything! Perhaps you're seeing things, over working can do that to a person! Let's go talk about it in your office, shall we?"

"Watari, I really don-"

"Oh, pi-sha! Everybody has time to relax! Now, come on!" Linking their arms together, Watari pulled Tatsumi into his office as he motioned behind his back for Tsuzuki to leave. Quickly getting the message, Tsuzuki snuck out of the room.

Hisoka quietly walked down the hallway to where Watari had told him Saya and Yuma had gone. To be honest, he didn't want to "take one for the team" as Watari had put it. He was risking his damn dignity! Hisoka was absolutely positive that after he said no more than one word to those girls, he would be tackled and forced into some sort of girl's outfit. This brings us back to the question of WHY they insisted on torturing the poor boy. Hadn't he suffered enough? If he wasn't going to die again because of Muraki, it was going to be because of embarrassment.

Turning a corner into a break room, Hisoka came face to face with the two girls. "Um, hi?" he said. Correction, it was two words. Saya and Yuma squealed before tackling a very pissed off Hisoka to the ground and sitting on him to hold him down.

"Stop squirming!" Yuma said. She was sitting on his upper body while Saya had his legs. "We just wanna negotiate!"

"Negotiate what!" Hisoka snapped.

"What you have to do in order for us to give you the remote!"

"Look, as long as you don't mess with Tsuzuki, I don't care!"

"You should! We have currently stationed fifty cupids outside the entire building, and have control over one hundred more. Until midnight, they will hunt down whoever we want them to, which includes you!"

_Why the hell did Watari make a hundred and fifty fucked up cupids! _Hisoka thought."Son of a bitch."

"Yep!" Saya said. "And unless you don't want to do something you'll regret tomorrow, you should do as we say!"

"Fine. What do you want?"

"Just one itsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy, tiney-winey little favor."

"What?"

The girls exchanged the happiest grins ever created.

_Let's see,_ Tsuzuki thought_. I've already checked all of the obvious places he could have gone and the entire first floor and half of the second. Where could he be?_

"Tsuzuki!" a voice echoed through the halls. Yuma made her presence known and said, "Come look! We got you a Valentine's Day present!"

"That's sweet," Tsuzuki said, "but I'm in a hurry."

"Don't worry, it's quick!" Yuma promptly ran to Tsuzuki and, taking his arm, pulled him to a nearby break room. "Hang on, close your eyes, mister!"

"Okay!" Tsuzuki had absolutely no problem with this. It was pretty fun, as long as it was quick, and closing your eyes added to the excitement.

"Alright, now, open them!"

Taking his hands away, Tsuzuki's face changed from his normal smile, to that of a child who had just been given the Christmas mother load. He was standing only two feet away from his favorite fantasy: Hisoka in a school girl's uniform. He was even more beautiful than Tsuzuki could have ever thought in his spare/entire time. The uniform was a short sleeved top, white with a blue sailor collar, two thin blue stripes at each sleeve, and a red bow on the chest. The skirt was blue with two thin white stripes at the bottom and, much to Tsuzuki's joy, came just above the knee. He had on knee high stockings with adorable Mary Jane shoes, and to bring it all together, there were two pink ribbons in his hair. To sum it all up, Hisoka looked stunning.

He also looked embarrassed beyond belief. It wasn't so much an angry embarrassment, but just regular embarrassment. He was looking to the side and holding part of his skirt together so it wouldn't easily blow upwards in case of a breeze. Of course, to Tsuzuki this just made the scene even cuter. To him, Hisoka looked like a nervous girl about to give her big crush some special Valentine's Day chocolate that he had made just for him (meaning himself).

_"Um, Ts-Tsuzuki?" Hisoka would quietly say._

_"Yes?" I would answer after putting my book down._

_"I… I made these for you." Hisoka would quickly hand me the chocolates and look away, too embarrassed to say anything more. I would take them, but then put them down on my desk and take Hisoka in my arms._

_"Thank you, Hisoka. I love them."_

_Confused, Hisoka would say, "Tsuzuki! What are you doing?"_

_"Thanking you, of course."_

_Slowly, I would close my eyes and-_

"You IDIOT!" Hisoka yelled, before hitting Tsuzuki across the head. He was now angry embarrassed. Very angry embarrassed. "What the hell was that just going through your mind! I'm only dressed like this so those two will hand over the damn remote that supposedly controls some stupid cupids Watari made!"

"Oh yeah!" Saya said. "Here you go!" She then tossed the PS2 cordless controller into Tsuzuki's lap as he nursed his wound.

"Hey, I remember this!" Tsuzuki said. "Watari made this about three years ago, but he never used it. How does it work?" Thinking that it wasn't turned on, Tsuzuki pressed the "start" button.

"HOLY CRAP, NO!" Yuma screeched. But it was too late. Unknown to Tsuzuki and Hisoka, he had just activated every cupid in the building. One that was hanging from the ceiling nearby suddenly had glowing pink eyes and slowly turned to where Tsuzuki and Hisoka were.

Pointing its arrow at the two, a deep voice came from it saying, "Locked on target."

"Run, damnit!" Saya and Yuma yelled.

Grabbing Hisoka and throwing him over his shoulder, Tsuzuki high tailed it out of there right after it shot its little arrow, while Saya and Yuma jumped out the window.

"Put me down, damnit!" Hisoka kept shouting as Tsuzuki kept running.

After turning a corner, though, he came face to face with about twenty cupids. Turning around, there were twenty more marching towards him. Looking both ways while jogging in place and looking like he really needed to use the bathroom, he noticed a janitor's closet and rushed inside, closing the door right when they shot their arrows. The only sound was a repeated thumping noise as the arrows hit the door.

A/N: Meh, okay ending, I guess. It could be better. Oh, and don't look to much into the whole trapped in the closet thing… heh heh… R. Kelly… is that how you spell his name? I don't know, I just know about his "Trapped in the Closet" videos. Hell, I don't even know if that's what they're called! Onto chapter 9!


	9. Boldness and Shyness

A/N: This chapter was hard! Maybe it's because I don't really see the TatsumixWatari relationship in either the anime or the manga, but I find it cute!... I love Watari's hair! The color. I already have the thickness, and I can completely relate to him and Wakaba when it comes to the stupid humidity! I'm in Georgia (born and raised) and down here, it's not the heat that gets you, it's the humidity! Sorry about that tiny rant… enjoy the next chapter… Btw, I kind of only touched on the other romances (as you might be able to notice), but then again this IS a primarily a TsuzukixHisoka fic.

Chapter 9

"So, do you want a back rub?"

Shocked by the bold question, Tatsumi's face lit up as he stuttered out a, "W-what!"

"Like I said, you need to relax!"

"Watari, this is very unprofessional!"

"No, unprofessional would be me jumping onto your desk and kissing you. Besides, we are 'friends', right?"

"Well, yes, I-I guess so, but you should not act this way in the work place!"

"Okay."

Watari sat in a chair he had set up inside Tatsumi's office and had been sitting there ever since he had distracted him in order to free Tsuzuki.

"Wine?"

"What?"

"Would you like some wine?" Hopping onto Tatsumi's desk, Watari pulled out a bottle of wine from his lab coat along with two glasses. "It's a good year."

"No! I want you out so I can finish my work!"

"But there's only five minutes left of the work day. So how's we go out to dinner?"

"Where did that idea come from?"

"My mind."

Tatsumi sighed as he continued his work. He felt Watari staring at him though, and it was distracting to have him sitting on top if his desk still. It was increasingly annoying and caused the secretary's cheeks to warm slightly. _Why is he having such an effect on me?_ he thought. Growing increasingly frustrated with the scientist, Tatsumi slammed down his pencil and said, "Let's go out to dinner."

"What?" Watari said, very confused by the sudden suggestion, even though he had not too long ago offered the same thing.

"You said you wanted to go out to dinner, so let's go. We can talk about your behavior there."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

Watari's hand was then on Tatsumi's forehead. "You sure you're not sick?"

"Look, if you don't want to go, then say so. I got three more minutes left of which I could spend finishing the papers."

"You're giving up the last three minutes to spend time with me? This is the best Valentine's Day present ever!" Watari flung his arms around Tatsumi's neck and rubbed his cheek against his. "Oh! I got something for you, too!"

Before Tatsumi could protest about his so-called gift he had given, Watari handed him a small plastic box. Taking the ribbon off, Tatsumi opened it, revealing four fountain pens.

"Do you like them?" Watari asked, his face beaming.

"Yes," was all Tatsumi could say. Taking one out, he wrote his signature on one of his papers. "They write beautifully."

"Good! I must say, it was quite a challenge to find something for you. You know, it's not like a Christmas present. Valentine's Day presents are completely different. They have to be meaningful and show that the person was obviously thinking of you. I would have gotten you a basic Valentine's gift, but I knew you wouldn't like them."

Changing the subject, Tatsumi opened the door and said, "Shall we go?"

"Oh, right! You're taking me out on a date!"

"No, it's just a dinner between friends!"

"Alright. Let's just say that the red on your cheeks is because it's hot in here."

Arriving home, Terazuma was in a surprisingly good mood. He only got ambushed once and got to see Tsuzuki get put in his place. A fantastic day, considering it was Valentine's Day. That thought caused him to remember something. His gift for Kannuki. Don't be fooled, he had one. Of course he had one! The problem was the act of giving it to her.

As he walked through the door, he heard Kannuki in the kitchen humming a song. He silently made his way to his room, hoping that she hadn't heard him come in. Closing the door as quietly as possible, he sighed in relief and sank to the floor.

He stared at the window and what was on it. A bouquet of a half-dozen red roses. He had gotten them early that morning (which was why he had been late, even though he was attacked) so they weren't at all wilted, and since Kannuki didn't go in his room if the door was closed, he assumed she hadn't seen them.

_How the hell am I going to give them to her?_ he thought. Well, he knew _how_ he was going to give them. Going through with it was the problem. What if she didn't like the roses? What if she had a serious allergic reaction to them? What if she didn't feel the same way about him? There were so many things that could go wrong, that Terazuma was wondering why he even bought the roses anyway.

"Hajime-chan!" Kannuki said. "Dinner's ready!"

"Be right down!" he answered. "Oh boy."

Deciding that if he didn't do this now, then he wouldn't deserve to be called a man, Terazuma took the bouquet and headed downstairs. Once in the kitchen, he kept half of his body hidden behind the wall.

Looking up from setting the table, Kannuki smiled and said, "I made all of your favorites! Hope you enjoy!... How come your standing there?"

"Um, no reason," Terazuma said, mentally cursing himself afterward. "Say, how come you're home so early?"

"Oh, it's a long story."

Once Kannuki turned to the sink to get some more silver ware, Terazuma quickly put the roses in front on her chair and sat down, looking away as if hadn't done a thing.

Turning back around, Kannuki looked at the table and was about to say something, but stopped. She just stared at the bouquet, no expression on her face what-so-ever. Those five seconds were the worst Terazuma had ever experienced. Finally, Kannuki said, "Hajime-chan? Are… are those for me? From you?" Terazuma nodded. Slowly, a smile came to her face. She quickly put the dishes she was carrying down and snatched up the roses, burying her face in them to smell and feel the beautiful flowers just for her. "Oh, Hajime-chan! I love them! Nobody's ever given me roses before! They're beautiful! Thank you so much!" Taking a fuda she normally carries, Kannuki wrapped her arms around Terazuma's neck and kissed his cheek.

"I-I'm glad you like them," Terazuma said as best he could considering he hadn't really been expecting that last part.

A/N: I like that Wakaba and Terazuma on better than the Tatsumi and Watari one. I referred to Wakaba by her first name in this part because it was kind of Terazuma POV. One chapter to go!


	10. The Final Valentine

A/N: Holy crap, it's the last chapter…

Chapter 10

"You are an idiot," Hisoka said.

Both Tsuzuki and Hisoka were currently trapped in a janitor's closet, hiding from the freaky robotic cupids Watari had created for sexual purposes, and worst of all, Hisoka was stuck in a school girl's uniform. They were waiting for it to be midnight since that was when the cupids shut down. It had been four hours and forty-five minutes. They had fifteen minutes to go. Tsuzuki had been asleep against one of the walls for the majority of the time, but woke up ten minutes ago, and Hisoka had found a book on the proper assembly of a vacuum cleaner. He was amazed at how much detail went into it.

"Hisoka, I'm really really really sorry!" Tsuzuki whined.

"I know, but I'm just pissed that you couldn't let me grab my clothes before picking me up like that."

"I sorr-"

"Don't you dare say it!"

Tsuzuki shut his mouth and began to twiddle his thumbs. He really wanted to make it up to Hisoka, but couldn't think of anything. It was especially hard since he was still in that uniform and it took all of Tsuzuki's strength to not let his mind wonder to all the possibilities that this situation held. True, they wouldn't happen so soon, but one can still dream. What added to all of this, though, was that the cupids were right outside, and their glowing pinks eyes gave them some light in the dark room since the light bulb was out. The pink light looked wonderful on Hisoka. It bathed the boy in a gorgeous light that complimented everything about him. But Tsuzuki couldn't think these thoughts for too long or Hisoka might catch them.

"What time is it?" Hisoka suddenly asked.

After looking at his watch, Tsuzuki answered, "11:50. Just ten more minutes!"

"I hope so."

"Um, hey, Hisoka?"

"Yes?"

"After this, wanna come to my house for some tea?"

Hisoka looked at him with a bewildered stare. "Can you fix proper tea?"

"Of course I can! I'm a pro!"

"Yeah, a pro at killing people with your cooking."

"Hey, I'd like to try some of your food!"

"I'll admit I'm not great, but I can at least digest my cooking and not call 911."

"I've never had to call the doctor after somebody's eaten my food! And besides, I eat it all the time!"

"This coming from the man who eats fifty pounds of sugar a day."

"That does it!"

Tsuzuki snatched Hisoka's waist and pushed his to the ground as best he could in such a small room. Hisoka immediately began to protest against his actions and kicked him in the shins.

"Ow!" Tsuzuki yelped, but not letting go. In fact, that seemed to only make him hang on tighter. "Now, now! You wouldn't want to rip your skirt, would you?"

"Once it's off, yes!" Hisoka said, realizing the innuendo only after it was out.

"That can be arranged!"

"Tsuzuki, I swear if you even touch it I will kill you with my bare hands!"

"But I'm already dead! And besides, I thought you hated wearing it?"

"I do, but-!"

"Then let me take it off!"

"What the hell is wrong with you!"

"I think I was hit with one of those arrow things."

"No, you weren't! You're just a pervert! Now get off now or I won't lend you anymore money for sweets!"

That got him. Tsuzuki reluctantly got off of him, but not before he brushed his fingers on Hisoka's thigh, making it seem like an accident. It made them both blush, the pink light making it look deeper than it was. Five more minutes of silence went on.

"Tsuzuki?" Hisoka said.

"Yes?" Tsuzuki answered.

"… What time is it?"

"11:56. Only four more minutes!"

"Good."

Another silence.

"You know," Tsuzuki began, "I wish I could have gotten you a Valentine's Day present."

"Really?" Hisoka said, eyes turning toward the man next to him. "Why?"

"Because…" Tsuzuki stopped. He really wanted to tell him his deepest feelings, but it was a lot harder than he thought. "Because… I… care about you…"

"I care about you, too."

_Just as friends, though_, Tsuzuki thought. He felt his heart sink. The seconds seemed to morph into hours.

"What's wrong?" Hisoka asked, poking Tsuzuki's shoe with his to get his attention.

"Huh? Nothing!" Tsuzuki quickly said.

"Idiot. Why do you try and hide it? I'm empathic, remember?"

"Oh… yeah."

"So what's really on your mind?"

Tsuzuki grinned sheepishly and said, "You're an empath. You figure it out!"

"Quit being stupid! I wanna hear it from you!"

"Oh… Okay. Hisoka, I… I want you to be my… Valentine…"

Another pause as it sank in.

"You… you do?" Tsuzuki nodded. "Wow… thanks."

"What?"

"It's really nice of you, so… thank you." Hisoka's face was growing redder by the second and to Tsuzuki's happiness, he could see a small smile on the boy's face.

"Do you accept?" Tsuzuki asked, moving a bit closer to him.

\Hisoka was speechless. He honestly had no idea what to do, but something in the back of his head told him to say, "Yes." It took him a while to realize that the thought had actually been something that came out of his mouth. And he didn't mind.

Had there been enough room, Tsuzuki would have done a back flip. His cheeks were starting to hurt from the huge grin plastered on his face and he couldn't stop himself from hugging Hisoka tighter than he ever had before.

"Hey!" Hisoka yelled. "Not too tight! I can't breathe!"

Tsuzuki loosened his grip just a bit as he wondered if this meant that they were a couple. But he was okay with this. He would ask that later.

Suddenly his watch beeped and the pink light went away. "It's midnight," Tsuzuki whispered in Hisoka's ear. Hisoka just nodded. This was obviously strange to him.

After leaving the closet, trekking through the many immobile cupids, retrieving Hisoka's clothing and letting him change, Tsuzuki and Hisoka made their way out of the building and down the trail of cherry blossoms.

"Guess what, Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked.

"What?" Hisoka said.

"Two things. One, you're cute!" –That got him to blush.- "And two, I want chocolate!"

"Didn't you have enough today?"

"Oh, no! I don't eat chocolate or any candy on Valentine's Day. That's for amateurs."

"WHAT! Are you serious!"

"Yep! Now, February _fifteenth _the day you get all of the Valentine's candy just as good, but half off or more! You should go with me tomorrow, 'Soka-chan!"

"What did you just call me?"

"'Soka-chan!"

"I am seriously starting to rethink being your Valentine."

Tsuzuki just chuckled as he gently laced his fingers with Hisoka's and smiled down at his funny little Valentine.

A/N: Hmmmmm. I don't know. What do you guys think? Anyway, I FINISHED IT BY VALENTINE'S DAY! Party time:pulls lever that makes the spinney chair sink down: Wheee!

Muraki: I see that somebody has had their cough medicine today.

Kalili: You betcha! Oh, everybody! Muraki comes out of my DVD player whenever I leave it in there. Well, except for the second one.

Muraki: Don't mind her, she's normally scared half to death of me. She can't go an five minutes an episode without saying how creepy I am. Which is probably why she only had me in one chapter.

Kalili: Yeah, but you were needed! I wanted to have you try to woo Tsuzuki and fail miserably!

Muraki: You do realize that due to your doctor's current injury and the fact that they have been doing tests on you, I could become your doctor?

Kalili: Hmmmmm. Hey, if anybody is still reading, what do you think of a story about Wakaba snapping?

Muraki: They've all stopped reading, idiot. Nobody likes these things, so why are you writing this?

Kalili:sigh: Yeah. HAVE A HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!


End file.
